California: Heather says Farewell to Two Aunts

Two of my Aunts, my dad's sisters, passed away this December within weeks of each other.  I felt the impact pretty hard and wanted to be there to support my parents and my extended family.  I was able to find a plane ticket really cheap, so I quickly scrambled to get the kids situated and find babysitters while Kevin was at work.  A few days later, I was on a plane taking a super long flight to California.  It was about 24 hours total of travel time from when I left my house until I got to my parents house.  I didn't know if I could make it work, so I didn't tell my parents I was coming.  I called Erilynne, Kevin's sister and she picked me up from the airport.  I got to mom's house and rung the door bell.  When she answered the door she just cried and cried.  It was super special to be able to completely surprise her.  About 30 minutes after I arrived, all of my other siblings drove up.  They all had flights that came in about the same time in LAX and Long Beach, so they just rented one car.  I had a layover in LAZ, and they were trying to convince me to skip my last flight and just drive with them, ut I was too tired to sit in a car that long, when I could just sit in an airport longe then take less then an house flight to Fresno.  

The next morning was my Aunt Gloria's funeral.  Aunt Gloria was a really close Aunt to us.  The McCauley's lived the closest to us and were the same age as a lot of my siblings, so we spent a lot of time and holidays with them.  Aunt Gloria was at all my events, all my graduations and big life things.  She was very much like Grandma McNaughton and always reminded me of her.  She was a classy, gorgeous, and funny woman.  My sisters, Misty, Lisa and Lori were all in the car with me and we were getting ready to drive away, when mom came out and made a sad face and asked if there was room for her.  Of courses e said, so she ditched the guys and smiling from ear to ear jumped in the car with the girls.

After the funeral, there was a beautiful luncheon at the chapel.  It was the best luncheon ever and one I think Aunt Gloria fully supported.  There were jokes made, hugs, smiles, stories and families catching up.  It was so wonderful to see cousins I haven't seen in over 15 years.  We have such a big family, it was wonderful to see the majority of the family.

My family, with just my parents and siblings wanted to get pictures all together, because it has been a super long time since we were all together.  It is so much fun being family with these crazy people.  We all have different personalities and different likes and live all over the world, but we are family.  And Families are forever.

We did get some nice pictures too, lol.  The nice pictures were far less than the funny ones. There was always one of us goofing off or rolling our eye balls.

 After the funeral, we went to Costco.  It was fun walking around the warehouse store.  The family really only had the one day together since Misty and Steve had to get home the next morning.  We spent the rest of the day eating, talking and just catching up.

But, before we divided once more, as siblings we decided to try to recreate a picture we took years ago when we were together in Utah.  It took a few tries, but I think in the end we ended up nailing it.  I wish I had the originals photo, but I don't.  If I ever find it, I will be adding it so you can compare the two pictures.  We had a good laugh trying to recreate the picture. We also learned that Misty and Lori are not as flexible as they once were.

The next day, after Misty and Steve left, Lisa, Lori and I went to visit Aunt Nancy one last time.  She has been given hours to days to live.  We were hoping to be able to support her family by staying for her funeral also, but the timing just wasn't right.  We enjoyed a visit with her and with her daughter Kelly.  It was sweet to talk to her.  Lisa had a really hard time saying good bye.  I didn't know Aunt Nancy as well as Lisa did, so I'm glad all together we were able to come. It was real special to be here.

Final Farewell to Reed Lynn Rasmussen

This is perhaps the hardest post I have had to write. After the prior posts you can see that my dad became gravely ill, with a failure to thrive. He finally was able to pass through the veil, join my mother who passed away 18 years before, and finally be free from a body tired of life. What a tender mercy though that he would now be free. 

I weathered my mothers passing, without someone by my side. Serving then as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I rejoiced in having the power of the Holy Ghost help me immediately during that hard time. I had the same tender mercy now, but I had an additional blessing...Heather! I was so happy she could come with me, and with some friends that were so generous to help with the kids, we boarded a plane again and went again 7000 miles home. 

After arriving and being sweetly picked up by the best mother in the world we made it to our hotel for some rest. The next day we attended the family viewing service, which was very very special. We spent the entire times sharing stories, which thanks to my aunt's and uncle's I was able to learn things about my dad I never knew. 

The next day was the funeral...a very hard but happy day. I was asked to give the eulogy, which I spent hours trying to write. I had three versions prepared, and knowing how vital it is to prepare very carefully, but deliver very carefully. It was an honour to me to share my testimony of my dad, which I did with as much humor, honesty and humility as I could. My dad had many imperfections, like I do, but looking like him, speaking like him, and thinking like him, I was honoured to stand for and behalf of him to address his life. Paris Cluff gave the talk to the plan of salvation, doctrinally sound and well done. I was especially happy to have Brandon there with me. As the only other person in the family who has worn the uniform of the Air Force, I was honoured to be our blues together to honour our dad. Brandon joked about how tight it fit now - haha! Mine fit fine!

Heather was so amazingly supportive during this time. She was able to see her family who also came to support me in all of this. Lisa came all the way down from Idaho just to see Heather, which was very special.

At the conclusion we made the way to the burial plot. I am frustrated that he was buried across town from where my mom is, and not buried next to her but with Lydia's plot. Not cool in my mind but what I can say, she took over everything.

Brandon and I decided ahead of time to render our final salutes to my dad. This was so hard for me to do, and made everyone cry. I have never stood with Brandon like this before, and although he always hints about how bad he is, he was wonderful for me in this moment.

We went though the final procession, and then my uncle Richard dedicated the grave of my father. I loved being around so many men of the priesthood, and knowing I was one of them. I were two uniforms in my life, one for America and one for my Savior Jesus Christ. 

One thing that bummed me out was that my little brother Darren didn't make it. I will only go as far as that, but I loved seeing my siblings!

When all was said and done there were a few things Heather and I wanted to do: Cold Stone and Cafe Rio!!! So we needed a little bit of some pick me up, so off we went to brighten the moment with some ice cream.

Every time Heather and I go back to Fresno we revisit a sacred place, the Fresno Temple! The temple is a very sacred place that heather and I were sealed for time and all eternity, and here coming home to Fresno means coming home to the Temple that has brought my family the opportunity to be together forever. We did an endowment session with Lisa, Mom and Dad and Grandpa Taylor. It was fun sitting next to Grandpa Taylor because he is so deaf he just talks at normal levels in places where you are supposed to whisper!

We went out to lunch after together, which started our whirlwind tour of spending every moment we could with family. From restaurants to houses, to night time chats, it was moment after moment of making the most of what matters most: family. Elder M. Russell Ballard said: "That which lasts the longest is the most important," and these final concluding moments were just that - amazing family moments.

Yes those are Root beers!

This weekend was a sacred moment, traveling the world with my best friend to celebrate a man that I owe a life time of help. I love my dad, imperfections and one arm in all, and I was honoured to not only show my gratitude for him, but my testimony of Jesus Christ, his perfect role in peace in our lives, and his complete success in overcoming the sting of death. I hold to that promise, and try to live worthy of the woman by side that I have been blessed for sharing eternity with. Thank you Heather for your tender support this time!

A Final Farewell: Dad, I Love You

These next two posts are going to be the hardest to write. My dear father, Reed Lynn Rasmussen, has been suffering for 10 years of a traumatic brain injury induced dementia. Sparing the details of his gradual decline, I was notified by my sister Leann that he had fallen out his bed in a nursing home 3 days before and fractured his hip. Having been in orthopaedic wards, as well on internal medicine before, the traditional course for hip fractures associated with fall from "whatever" usually results in a rapid decline of the patient, and such was the case for him. I was able to secure emergency leave after a Red Cross notification, and was on a plane home within days, 7000 miles away.

After Korea to L.A, and then L.A to Fresno, I was graciously picked up by Dad McNaughton, and taken over to the hospital to see my dad, who was inpatient at Fresno Community Hospital. His mental status and inoperability of his condition necessitated a final discharge disposition of hospice care, which he was eventually transferred to a new home that would assist in his transition.

When I walked into the room of Fresno Community, I cried seeing him. I love my dad, despite his many imperfections, and it broke my heart to see a man that once was vibrant and humorous, now pass between a brief moment of lucidity back to sleep. He was heavily drugged as most hospice "comfort care" dictated treatment is, which didn't help the situation. But either way, it was wonderful to catch him for the moments I could.

In moments he would awaken and I would attempt to reorientate him, and when he saw me he would remember me every time,  but would always mix my name and profession up with my older brother Brandon. I would try to tell him what he could before he would fall asleep, and do all I could to keep him comfortable, warm, covered (as he continually tried to take off his sheets). He would relate things he was seeing in the room, none of which were real, but it was still fun to run with him in the conversation, like I do with my 4 year old.

Day after day my siblings would join me. On day two I offered my dad a priesthood blessing, and he said "son I would really like that." That was, up to this point, the clearest communication he had had, but that was one of the hardest blessings I have ever given. I did not feel like I could "release" him from this life, which was eventually done by one of his friends he had when he eventually passed away the next month.

So I wish to conclude with one vital and important memory from this. I went to go one day after attempting to talk with him for a while. He was falling back asleep, and out of no where I got my miracle I didn't think possible. He suddenly woke up, looked at me, and said "Kevin, I love you, and I want you to know how proud I am of you, and who you have become. I love you son." I just burst into tears. He not only remembered me, but remembered my name, and was able to relay just enough to tell me what really matters.

I couldn't thank my Heavenly Father enjoy for this tender mercy moment. This occurred on the last day before I would have to fly back, and gave me the feeling that this was the last moment I would see my dad alive. It was, and what a way to end on such a high note. I truly believe our lives are full of these tender mercies, but the trick is to have the eyes to see and ears to hear it.