Austria: Kevin Snowboards the Alps

Austria: "Well then, Good-day mate!" (Dumb and Dumber reference) Sorry I had too. Kev's here, and I wanted to start off what a genius idea it was to start learning to snow board at 39. Can you tell my sarcasm?

So lets start off with why I didn't try skiing when it's "easier to learn, harder to master." Well I have this frustration with my feet being able to go in independent directions, and having wakeboarded a time or two I thought this would be a better option.

So this trip required an intense amount of gear. Luckily for us we prepared for it when we had the chance to buy snow boards, boots, bindings, skis, ski snows and polls in Korea when Camp Humphrey's outdoor rec sold their old ones. $20 bucks for a board, $10 for boots, ya!

Once we did our typical clampit style loading of the highlander, we set off for Austria. Our airBnB room was a lucky find because this was a last minute planned trip, and come to find out this is a tradition for literally everyone there. We even had dinner with families that have made this a trip every year for 20+ years.

We still had a rent a few things for the kiddos, and we made the best decision by going up the night before in order to get the kids rentals for the week, like for little A and Monster, when the ski shop was slow. It was a mad house the day before.

The next day one we parked at the base of the Alpendorf ski slope, arriving an hour early before our lessons, and then we hit our first road block: the dang ski lift! Maybe this a norm for ski slopes, because I have been to a ton right (meaning only 1), and it was here that I discovered that at least here, there are no lines to get to the ski lift up the mountain, but rather its just the standard to be literal be squished like cattle, and every minute or so there is a penguin like shuffle forward an inch, eventually reaching the entrance. It was miserable, and after an hour and a half, we finally made it onto the ski lift, feeling violated and victorious, knowing that all my plans for early arrival were gone.

 The lift up was amazing though! We were in the top of the mountains literally. We kept counting the cars to see how high the numbers went, which we eventually figured out their were 133 cars. When we arrived to the top though, we had to quickly figure out where to put each child. After finally getting Monster into his class, and dealing with the first of a hundred meltdowns he would have for the week, Heather, M&M and I started with our first snow board lesson!

The teacher was Mia, a native of Denmark, who was applying to medical school and works here during the winter. She was awesome, but man what a rough start. We learned from a prior friend who went with us in Korea and crashed horribly breaking her sacrum, to pad your rear end, and boy was that true! I feel over and over again and again.

As the lesson continued during the afternoon and after a massively expensive lunch, we again dropped Monster off, endured another meltdown, and we started again. That didn't last long as he continued to scream the entire time we were gone, and so we eventually had to split our time up the rest of the week in order to keep him from being a terror there. What a monster.

That afternoon I successfully made it down the bunny hill without falling but then biffed it royally at the end, hitting my head. I was so grateful for safety equipment, and a butt pad, because I sure was beat up by the end of the day. We got back to the house the night and man I was so sore. We luckily had a drying rack in the house, and we placed all the lugs on the radiator heaters to dry off, but unfortunately that didn't prove to effective, and by weeks end my gloves were rank! I threw them promptly away after my last run with happiness.

Day 2 was New Years eve, and the mountain was insanely packed! Today presented a new challenge, the lift up the hill. So Alpendorf is an amazing mountain, and today were were stretched to go up higher, but we had to get up the lift. Picture a ski rope that a little seat on it which if you were a skier would super easy because it can stay in the middle of your legs. Not for us though: we had to keeps our legs sideways on the board but keep the rope straight! That was so frustrating! So when you do that your board will suddenly trail off in different directions when you edge one way or the left, and that was very hard to control. Team that with a drop off on one side and watch your board going that way and you do what I did like 100 times: Bail! Then you have to the do the walk of shame up the rest of the way up, knowing that you are silently being mocked by every little 4 year old that seems to understand this process better than you do and coast right by you and stare you down! I wish I could say the day was better, but I failed this so many times.

Day 3 was New Years day, and we showed up at our original time we had been to beat the rush, only to find there was no rush, there was no line, there was no one on the mountain, and why: Yep, every one was hungover from the night before. We did the mountain again, and today I finally made it up the slope! I was able this afternoon to finally get down the mountain with minimal biffs. We learned to turn today and that was so hard, finally learning that let my front foot guide me. Heather did even better today, and Mia suggested we should go with Hans from the Netherlands to the next advanced class. Showed up again. Heather went with that class and I stayed with M&M. I learned something about M&M today. She progressed faster than any of us, but every time she fell she squealed like a little pig. It was super funny!

Day 4 Today, I was moved up to Hans class, and M&M decided to stay with Mia. Today was the big hills, and learning to do the normal lifts which as a 4 day amateur was a feat to pull off, and I pulled a residency mentality and simply just faked it until I made it. The mountain slopes were insanely scary, but our teacher Hans so was so chill. He helped me get over the massive anxiety of the slope of the mountain, and take it step by step and stage by stage. I would putter out early on some inclines, go too fast on others and fall backward, but there were multiple moments where I conquered my fears and success, made it down! It was today that I began to really enjoy it.

Day 5 was our last day, and today was a continuation of the mountain, and we did a red course which was super steep. That scared me at first, but it taught me to get past the psych of it and show myself that I could. Now having 5 days of brusing, falling more time than I can ever count, but luckily not having a major injury, I did our speed test and competition, and completed the week. That evening we went to the lodge for the "awards" ceremony which was super fun. We got a change to celebrate our instructors, and I ordered a table worth of hot chocolate which was delicious!

Here we celebrated each kids success for the week, and Heather and I even won some ridiculous things, but it was awesome! We then faced an incoming snow storm, and so packed up the night before and left early Saturday morning in order to not get trapped there!

So yes, I want to snow board again, I want to come back to Alpendorf, and enjoy this great but very expensive place!